Chatness

A Deepessay by Andreas Thelander Bertelsen (12yrs) and Per Jespersen

Everything is quiet in town. No wind, no playing children in the streets, no cars. A strange day in the modern society. No stress – but a rare tranquillity.

So where are people? What are they doing?

Sleeping?

Perhaps.

But not all. Andy is home alone, because his parents are on vacation. He enjoys it, because these days he can do what he wants. That is not the way it is, when Dad is home, because he has only thoughts for the garden. His newest idea was an expensive fountain in the middle of the garden, so he normally spends all his time there, cleaning for weeds and working with the fountain. The day before Andy’s parents left, the fountain broke, and Dad was angry and was willing to cancel the vacation.

So Andy is on his own. 14 years and an only child with 300 bucks in his pocket to buy food for himself for the next fortnight. And with one obligation: vacuum-cleaning. Oh, he hates it!

So what does he do: he takes a look at the broken fountain and smiles, because he knows that Dad is thinking about this superfluous thing all his vacation.

300 bucks. He could spend them on food, but he did not do that. His computer needed a repair, and it is all done, and Andy now has only 100 bucks left.

He steps to his room and opens the computer. He wants to chat. He spends at least 4 hours every day chatting.

He opens his chat: Hey folks, Simson is here. Anybody there?

The streets are still very quiet, as if people had decided not to use their cars to day. Maybe they are all chatting on their computers.

Liza is. She is only 12 and has a little sister, Cindy. They quarrel every day about the chat. They both want to chat, but right now Liza is on the chat under the name "timezone".

I have a crazy sister, she writes.

Now Cindy comes in, reading the screen and screaming: "No, you have not. If anybody is crazy here, it’s you!!!"

"Now she screams again," Liza writes. Can you imagine: a constantly screaming little sister!

Now their Dad comes in. "Hey girls, can you never agree on this chat!!!"

"No," says Cindy. "Liza is chatting all day!"

"Okay – so we have to make some rules here," Daddy says. "Two hours for each of you, and that’s it!"

"Look," Liza laughs. "There’s a new one on the chat: Hey folks, Simson is here. Anybody there?

"Answer," Cindy shouts.

"Okay." Liza writes: Yes, I am here – but I’m disturbed by my crazy sister.

"I want to chat, too," Cindy says.

"Get away stupee," Liza shouts and pushes Cindy away, scarcely hearing her Daddy scolding: "If you don’t stop that quarrelling, there will be no chatting at all!"

"Look," Cindy says. Simson is answering: Tell me about her, timezone.

"What can I tell about you, but the fact, that you are crazy!" she says to Cindy.

"Oh, that you can’t do without me, and that you love me."

"Stupee. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna write: She is a stupee!!

Simson answers back: I would like to have a little sister.

Timezone: You can buy her. She’s cheap.

Simson: What’s the price? I need 200 dollars.

Timezone: Okay. She’s not even worth that much money, but anyway. Give me a call.

Simson: How does she look?

Timezone: Awful, but you might find her beautiful.

Now a new name pops up on the screen: Philtext: Does anybody want to chat with me?

Kenneth lives in another continent far away from Andy and Liza. He is together with his five friends in a huge apartment in a big city at the other side of the globe.

Their apartment is very quiet, because they are all studying. Kenneth buries himself in astronomy. But today he is not in the mood, so he gets up, saying. "This is too boring. I’m going to chat," so he opens his computer and writes. Philtext: Does anybody want to chat with me?

And he gets an answer immediately: Timezone: Sure, I’m lucky, that you are there. This chat is so boring and I can’t sell my little sister. So tell me something funny.

Philtext: Are you a Pokemon? If you are, this chat could be cult.

Timezone: Of course I am a Pokemon, a real hanky Pokemon.

Philtext: O kay, let’s Pokemon a little.

Timezone: Sure, have you seen all the films?

Philtext: Some of them. But who are you?

Now Simson pops up: Tell me, what is so funny about Pokemon?

Can I join this Pokemonian chat?

They all chat about Pokemon for a while. A symptom of the modern world, as they do not know each other and only spend their time on the chat because of boredom.

So suddenly Kenneth changes the subject.

Philtext: Why is Life so boring? Why is it not a dream?

Simson: Are we going to be philosophical here?

Philtext: I love the letter "p" – words – Pokemon, Philosophy, and Philtext – I prefer philosophy, so that’s why.

Simson: You don’t know, whether life is a dream, which you don’t wake up from, until you die.

Timezone: What is the difference between death and dream? When I wake up, I am definitely alive. So I was this morning.

Simson: You really do not know, whether you just dreamt, that you were alive.

Philtext: I am serious about this. If Life is a dream, what is Death? Life?

Timezone: I feel like Dracula – being alive and dead at the same time. So what’s the big deal?

Philtext: Try to imagine – don’t make fun of these things. I mean: what is there between Life and Death? Time?

Timezone: Do you expect me to answer that question? I’m not a jerk with glasses and piles of books on my desk.

Simson: You need not have glasses and books to be able to think about these things. You live here and now, and that’s what there is to it.

Philtext: There are time differences between two stars. Are we objects between the stars, trying to understand, that time can be measured in distance? Is there anything called distance after all? Or is it just something, human beings made up?

Timezone: This is gonna be interesting, but my little sister is screaming, and Daddy is yelling. I have to log out.

Philtext: Damn it – timezone disappeared. What do we do?

Simson: I have to log out, too. Do we meet here again in 15 hours without timezone?

Philtext: So what about timezone?

Simson: We have no choice. But let’s hope, timezone logs on again.

Andy needs something sweet and walks to the shop to buy something real sweet. He is still thinking about Life and Death and the connection between them. Time and difference and distance. Thoughts are rushing through his head. What a pity, that Timezone had to log out. He is looking forward to the next chat in 15 hours. He really must remember.

Daddy tells Liza to go to the baker’s to buy some bread. On her way she meets Andy, whom she knows from school.

"So, what have you been doing to day," Andy asks.

"Beaten my little sister. That’s what little sisters are for."

"And I’m home alone. My parents are on vacation—I like that, really. So I spend my time at the computer."

"Are you a nerd?"

"I suppose so. And you?"

"Well, you know girls are no nerds. They are cleverer than that."

"That’s new for me. Don’t tell me, that you’re not nerdy about anything."

"You’re right. But I won’t tell you. See you in school to morrow!"

Far away Kenneth thinks, "Damn it. They log out when it was most exciting." He switches on his tv, but it’s only nonsense, so he opens the chat again, but now it is only Pokemonian and hanky.

"Okay", he thinks for himself. "I log in in 14 hours. Whatever the time. It was so exciting. Life and Death, differences and distance – oh, that’s interesting."

Andreas: It’s funny, but there is always a sort of doubleness and more levels, when we textualize.

Per: You’re right. Is there a doubleness in Life, too?

Andreas: There is a deeper meaning to everything, but it dwells on different levels. We don’t know, on which level we are right now. That is the reason why we don’t understand everything. If you really want to comprehend, you have to see from all levels.

Next morning Liza and Andy meet outside school. They have a talk about their homework.

"Those crazy teachers," Liza says. "How easy it is to be a teacher, when the students are making the work for them!"

"I guess you’re right. But they don’t seem to realize."

"No, my English teacher is like my little sister. She is a stupee!"

Andy wonders. Stupee? Haven’t I heard that word before? Stupee? Where? No, I don’t remember.

In the first hour they have science. They both hate it, so they are looking forward to the break, where the computer room opens.

Just now – in the middle of the science hour -- time seems to stand completely still. But finally: the bell rings. They both rush to the room to catch the best computer. As usual Andy succeeds in getting the newest machine, which is close to the printer. Liza gets the oldest machine, which they all call "Grandpa".

Liza goes online immediately to find the last week’s greatest hit for downloading. There it is – she gets so excited, that she screams: "What a hanky text! I’m gonna print it out!"

She goes to the printer, but 7 or 8 are already waiting for their printing. She looks around and sees Andy and wants to continue their talk about the teachers, as she discovers his screen.

He is on the chat with Philtext!

"Oh my God," Liza thinks. "Is that a coincidence?"

Philtext: Are you there?

Simson: Sure – good to be here. What about timezone?

Liza is still so surprised. She takes Andy’s shoulder, saying, "Were you –"

And Andy says, "Are you ----- are you – hey, timezone!!" He smiles happily. Then he writes:

Hi Philtext. You won’t believe me – timezone is here – alive – flesh and blood – ain’t it hanky?

Philtext: Hanky hanky – we are a bunch of hankies!!! It’s marvellous to be hanky, especially on the chat.

Liza gives up the printing and rushes back to open her chatprogramme.

Timezone: I’m here, and I’m looking at Simson this very minute – flesh and blood.

Philtext: Are you serious? Do you know each other?

Simson: We are both flesh and blood – same room – same town – same country – same world. Where are you, Philtext? Here too?

Philtext: Where are you? Is this a question of time difference?

Timezone: Timezones, you mean.

Philtext: Yes – I’m in Europe – and you?

Simson: In the US. God’s own land, you know!

Philtext: I really didn’t know, that God lived there. So it was a question of time. What is time, then?

Simson: Time is something made up by us, but --- but ---

Timezone: What do we mean, when we talk about time – that time flies or stands still, when it is really all made up?

Philtext: If time is not there – I mean, that distance is the thing, we measure – but we call it time.

Simson: So where does difference come in?

Philtext: If time does not exist, there is no such thing as difference.

Timezone: And if time does not exist, there is no such thing as distance.

Philtext: If time and distance and difference do not exist – well, there you have eternity – that everything exists forever or that nothing ever exists.

Andreas: No matter how many you meet and from how many sides you see things, you will always find eternity.

Per: Gosh!!!!!

Bell rings.

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